Explaining Couples’ Experiences of Blurred Emotional Boundaries in Enmeshed Families

Abstract

This study aimed to explain couples’ lived experiences of blurred emotional boundaries in enmeshed families and to identify their consequences for marital intimacy, couple autonomy, and patterns of marital conflict. This qualitative study was conducted using thematic analysis. The participants were 24 married individuals living in Tehran who had experienced emotional intrusion from their family of origin or their spouse’s family into their marital life. They were selected through purposive sampling, and recruitment continued until theoretical saturation was reached. Data were collected through individual semi-structured interviews. The interviews were audio-recorded, transcribed verbatim, repeatedly reviewed, and analyzed using NVivo software. The analytic process included familiarization with the data, initial coding, theme development, theme review, theme definition, and report writing. To enhance trustworthiness, member checking, peer review, analytic memo writing, and an audit trail were used. The analysis led to five main themes: emotional intrusion of the family of origin into the couple unit, difficulty drawing and maintaining decision-making boundaries, triangulation and hidden coalitions with parents, loyalty conflict and guilt toward the family, and erosion of marital intimacy due to the psychological presence of the extended family. Participants described their experiences through meanings such as “not having an independent psychological home,” “constant obligation to respond,” “fear of hurting parents,” and “loneliness within marriage.” The findings indicated that blurred emotional boundaries in enmeshed families weaken couples’ psychological autonomy and transform marriage from a dyadic relationship into a tense, multi-voiced relational field with unclear boundaries. Therefore, couple therapy interventions in this context should focus not only on improving couple communication but also on reconstructing emotional boundaries, strengthening differentiation of self, reducing triangulation, and reinforcing a healthy couple alliance.