A Phenomenological Exploration of the Process of Rebuilding Trust After Emotional Infidelity Among Couples Seeking Emotional Divorce
Keywords:
Emotional infidelity, trust rebuilding, emotional divorce, phenomenology, couple therapy, marital intimacyAbstract
This study aimed to phenomenologically explore the lived experience of rebuilding trust after emotional infidelity among couples seeking emotional divorce. This qualitative study was conducted using a descriptive phenomenological design. The participants were 18 individuals from couples who had referred to family counseling centers in Tehran and reported both emotional infidelity and signs of emotional divorce. Participants were selected through purposive sampling based on predefined inclusion criteria, and recruitment continued until theoretical saturation was achieved. Data were collected exclusively through in-depth semi-structured interviews. Each interview lasted between 55 and 90 minutes and was audio-recorded, transcribed verbatim, and coded after obtaining informed consent. Data analysis was conducted using phenomenological analysis with the assistance of NVivo software. To enhance trustworthiness, member checking, peer review, analytic memoing, repeated reading of interview transcripts, and maintenance of an audit trail were applied. The analysis showed that rebuilding trust after emotional infidelity is not an immediate or linear process, but rather a fragile, gradual, and behavior-dependent reconstruction of relational security. Four main categories emerged from the data: collapse of emotional security and emergence of vigilant mistrust; restorative transparency and termination of the third-party relationship; accountability, responsibility, and reconstruction of a shared narrative; and gradual revival of intimacy, boundaries, and marital commitment. Participants emphasized that trust was not restored merely through apology, but through repeated predictable behaviors, acknowledgment of the injured partner’s pain, nondefensive responsiveness, clear boundaries with the outside relationship, and emotionally safe dialogue. The findings indicate that rebuilding trust after emotional infidelity among couples experiencing emotional divorce requires moving beyond denial, ambiguity, and mutual blame toward transparency, responsibility, shared meaning-making, and redefinition of commitment. This process becomes possible when both partners are committed not only to preserving the relationship but also to constructing a more conscious, emotionally secure, and clearly bounded marital bond.
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Copyright (c) 1405 Elham Sharifi-Kia (Author); Amirhossein Fallah-Mehr (Corresponding author)
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