A Phenomenological Analysis of the Lived Experiences of Couples with Severe Class and Cultural Differences in Marriage

Abstract

This study aimed to explore the lived experiences of couples whose marriages were shaped by severe class and cultural differences. This qualitative study was conducted using a descriptive phenomenological design. The participants consisted of 20 married individuals, including 10 women and 10 men, living in Tehran, Iran, who had been married for at least three years and perceived their relationship as marked by substantial differences in social class, family background, lifestyle, cultural capital, or value systems. Participants were selected through purposive sampling based on the richness of their experiences, and recruitment continued until theoretical saturation was achieved. Data were collected through in-depth semi-structured interviews. The interviews were audio-recorded with participants’ consent, transcribed verbatim, repeatedly reviewed, and analyzed using phenomenological coding procedures with the support of NVivo software. To enhance trustworthiness, member checking, prolonged engagement with the data, analytical memoing, peer debriefing, and an audit trail were employed. Data analysis yielded four main categories: class and cultural shock after entering married life; exhausting negotiation over lifestyle, consumption, and family relations; redefinition of power, status, and couple identity; and transition from the duality of “my family/your family” toward the construction of a shared world. Participants experienced class and cultural differences not merely as economic inequality but as incompatibilities in emotional language, interaction rituals, family expectations, symbolic meanings of honor and respectability, consumption patterns, conflict resolution styles, and perceptions of social status. However, couples who moved beyond comparison, shame, and mutual devaluation were able to transform difference into a source of learning, flexibility, and relational growth. Severe class and cultural differences in marriage become a persistent source of relational crisis when they are accompanied by shame, comparison, family interference, power asymmetry, and lack of open dialogue. Nevertheless, when couples establish healthy boundaries, maintain mutual respect, and reconstruct a shared marital narrative, such differences can become a pathway toward relational resilience, expanded lifeworlds, and a flexible couple identity.