Exploring Couples’ Lived Experiences of Social Comparison on Social Networking Sites and Its Consequences for Romantic Relationships

Abstract

This study aimed to explore couples’ lived experiences of social comparison on social networking sites and to explain its perceptual, emotional, and relational consequences for marital relationships This qualitative study was conducted using a phenomenological design. Participants included 18 married couples living in Tehran who were selected through purposive sampling based on active social media use and reported experiences of comparing their relationship with relationships displayed online. Data were collected through semi-structured individual and couple interviews, and sampling continued until theoretical saturation was achieved. Interviews lasted between 45 and 75 minutes. After audio-recording, transcription, and repeated reading, the data were analyzed using the six-phase thematic analysis method with the assistance of NVivo software. To enhance trustworthiness, member checking, peer coding, analytic memoing, and thick contextual description were employed. Data analysis led to the extraction of five main categories: “idealized representation of couple life on social media,” “upward comparison and reduced relationship satisfaction,” “activation of jealousy, suspicion, and digital monitoring,” “erosion of communication, intimacy, and emotional presence,” and “renegotiation of digital boundaries and relational repair strategies.” Participants described social comparison not merely as an individual response to online content but as a relational process that begins with exposure to seemingly perfect couple displays, leads to reinterpretation of deficiencies in one’s own relationship, and, in the absence of constructive dialogue, results in conflict, blame, emotional withdrawal, and diminished marital satisfaction. The findings indicated that social comparison on social networking sites may undermine relationship quality by activating unrealistic expectations, intensifying perceived relational deficits, increasing sensitivity toward a partner’s behavior, and reducing emotional presence. However, couples who developed explicit conversations about media use, privacy boundaries, relationship display, and marital expectations experienced social media less as a threat and more as a manageable context. Couple therapy interventions should therefore address comparison literacy, digital self-regulation, and the reconstruction of couple dialogue about social media.